Alessandra: Italian Girlfriend Sex Doll — The Stuff They Don’t Tell You

Out of the Box (Literally and Figuratively)

You know that feeling when you’re waiting for a package, and it’s not just any package? Yeah, three weeks felt like forever. I kept checking tracking numbers like some kind of obsessed hawk. When Alessandra finally showed up—well, “showed up” is maybe too casual for something that weighs 84 lbs and comes in a plain, almost suspiciously nondescript box. Discreet packaging? Sure. But also, it looked like I’d ordered… furniture or something illegal.

I dragged her inside (not gracefully), sweating more than I expected. If you’ve never lifted an absolute sex doll before—especially one that’s 5 feet 7 inches tall—you’ll discover muscles you forgot about.

There’s Athletic, Then There’s This

Right off the bat: the first thing that hit me was how athletic she looks. Not cartoon-level fake, but actually pretty realistic for a D-cup TPE sex doll. Her proportions are kind of wild: bust at 35 inches, underbust at 26, waist at 22.8... hips at 33.8 inches—it’s all very hourglass but not exaggerated into oblivion.

The tan skin tone is nice; not orange or weirdly shiny like some cheap dolls floating around online (believe me—I did my homework). And brunette hair suits her “Italian girlfriend” vibe better than I thought it would.

Movable Joints: Cool in Theory

Okay—steel skeleton with movable joints sounds fancy on paper, but in reality? It’s both impressive and slightly awkward to pose her without feeling like you’re breaking something expensive. She bends well enough for most things (and yes, all three options are possible—vaginal, anal, oral), but sometimes her arm will swing out unexpectedly or get stuck mid-pose.

Maybe I’m just not as patient as other people who buy these things from Absolute Sex Dolls…but fiddling with elbows isn’t exactly my idea of foreplay.

About Those Measurements…

People obsess over numbers online so here they are again: she stands at a full 172 cm (that’s taller than some of my friends), weighs in at about 38 kg (84 lbs if you don’t do metric), and her “hole depth”—I can’t believe this is a real phrase—is listed as vagina: 6.7 inches; anus: same; mouth: slightly less at 5.1 inches.

Honestly? That last detail made me laugh out loud when I read it on the website because who measures that stuff with such precision?

The Shipping Game

Free international shipping sounds great until you realize “processing time” means two weeks before anything even moves—and then another week in transit if customs doesn’t decide to have random fun with your order. Mine took exactly three weeks door-to-door which… fine, but don’t expect Amazon Prime speed here.

At least nobody knew what was inside the box except me (and probably my nosy neighbor watching through their blinds).

Not Exactly What Instagram Promised

Here’s where skepticism kicks in hard—the pictures always look flawless online right? In person…well…she looks good! But there were little details that caught my eye—a seam line here or there on the TPE skin if you squint close enough; hair gets messy fast; joints click sometimes when moving legs around for certain positions.

Not dealbreakers—but if you expect perfection straight out of fantasy land? Prepare yourself for small letdowns mixed into the overall experience.

A Tangent About Loneliness

Weirdly enough—and maybe this is oversharing—but after setting Alessandra up in my room there was this odd moment where I realized how quiet everything felt afterward. Like yeah, she ticks every box physically (pun intended?), but there’s an uncanny silence to having an athletic Italian brunette just standing there by your bed at night.

Doesn’t mean she isn’t worth it if what you want is realism and options—not everyone wants conversation anyway—but still… unexpected side effect nobody mentions much on forums or reviews.

Would I Do It Again?

I remember thinking halfway through unboxing her: Is this really what dating has come to? Maybe yes—maybe not forever—but for now Alessandra fits somewhere between curiosity satisfied and convenience achieved. She does what she promises…and nothing more complicated than that.

Anyway—I guess if someone asked me whether these absolute sex dolls live up to their hype…I’d say mostly yes with a few honest caveats thrown in for good measure.

And hey—I need to go figure out where to store an extra-tall tan brunette now because closet space wasn’t part of my calculations either…