Ang: Shy Tender Sex Doll — Is This Really a Thing People Buy?

Let’s just get this out of the way: writing about sex dolls when you’re, well, mentally somewhere between “I need coffee” and “what is my life?” is… odd. But here we are. Ang—the so-called Shy Tender Sex Doll—has been sitting in my browser tabs for days now, quietly judging me with her silicone stare. Or maybe not judging. She’s a doll. Anyway.

The Numbers Game Nobody Asked For

People who shop for absolute sex dolls (yes, that’s apparently the brand) seem to love measurements. Like, love them. It's almost clinical—height, weight, bust size, cup size (F cup if you’re keeping track), hip circumference… I can’t even remember my own shoe size half the time but here I am learning Ang wears a women’s 4.5-5.

She stands at 5 feet 5 inches tall (or 165 cm for those who like metric). Feels weirdly specific? It is. She weighs 80 lbs (36 kg), which sounds manageable until you think about carrying her up three flights of stairs and realize your neighbors will definitely have questions you don't want to answer.

Her proportions are... generous? Bust: 33 inches; under bust: 24.5; waist: barely-there at 21.3; hips swing back up to 36.8 inches—a kind of cartoon hourglass that would make Barbie feel underdressed at a pool party.

Movable Joints & That Steel Skeleton

Now here’s where it gets a little sci-fi—Ang has a steel skeleton with movable joints. Theoretically this means she can pose or sit wherever you want her to (within reason). I tried propping her on an old IKEA chair and she held still better than most people do during Zoom calls.

The joints click into place with this satisfying mechanical sound, which is both comforting and slightly unnerving when you remember what she actually is. There’s something surreal about adjusting a doll's elbow while thinking about dinner plans.

“Shy” Is A Marketing Word

Is Ang really shy? Well—she doesn’t talk back or move unless you move her first, so sure, let’s call that shy if we have to label everything these days. Her face does have this gentle expression though, like she knows too much or maybe nothing at all.

Marketing loves adjectives like “tender,” “juicy,” “brunette,” and “big breasts.” Not exactly subtle but then again subtlety isn’t really the point with absolute sex dolls in general.

Holes & Depths (Because Apparently You Need To Know)

This part always reads like someone filling out technical specs for car parts but whatever—people ask:

• Vagina depth: 6.7 inches
• Anal depth: 6.3 inches

I don’t know who measures these things but there it is in black and white on every product page as if it were tire pressure stats or something equally practical.

Shipping Is Its Own Adventure

Shipping information was one of those details I didn’t expect to care about until imagining an unmarked box containing an entire human-sized silicone sex doll showing up at my door while my neighbor waters his plants two feet away.

It takes around three weeks total from order to delivery—2-3 weeks processing plus another week shipping internationally (for free apparently). They promise discreet packaging so no one will know what’s inside except probably everyone because… come on.

Strange Realizations While Unpacking

There was this moment unpacking where I realized how absurdly normal it felt after five minutes—it becomes less scandalous and more logistical (“where do I put the shoes?”). She's heavy enough that moving her feels like wrestling laundry soaked in concrete but eventually you figure out a system involving dragging rugs across hardwood floors.

Her long legs stick out awkwardly sometimes—which honestly made me laugh more than anything else—and there was something oddly comforting about brushing synthetic hair off her face before setting her down for the night (not sure if that's sweet or deeply concerning).

Unexpected Downsides No One Mentions

One thing nobody tells you: silicone attracts dust like nothing else on earth. Static cling times infinity—I spent half an afternoon wiping specks off Ang's arms wondering why anyone would ever choose black bedsheets voluntarily again.

Also—and this may be too much detail—the F cup boobs look great in photos but storing clothes that fit properly turns into its own quest involving online shopping rabbit holes and mild existential dread over lingerie sizing charts.

Weird Memory About Legs

Quick tangent: Years ago I saw mannequins getting delivered behind a department store—they looked eerily similar to Ang being shipped home except less lifelike somehow? Funny how memory works when you're staring at long silicone legs propped against your couch wondering what you've become as a person.

Anyway—

Would You Actually Recommend This?

Here comes the part where people expect some grand conclusion or moral lesson wrapped neatly in SEO-friendly bows—but honestly? If you're looking for absolute sex dolls with big breasts and long legs made from soft silicone… yeah, Ang fits the bill technically speaking. Just don’t expect deep conversations or spontaneous adventures unless you count re-arranging limbs every few days as adventure-adjacent activity.

And if anyone asks why there's suddenly an extra pair of women's shoes lying around your apartment? Maybe just shrug and say it's complicated.