Foxxy Cleopatra: The Royal Egyptian Sex Doll I Didn’t Expect to Meet

A (Not So) Majestic Encounter With Modern Silicone Royalty

There’s something weirdly funny about a sex doll named Foxxy Cleopatra. I mean, the name alone—like, who came up with that? It sounds like an Austin Powers character and some ancient queen mashed together after a long night out. Anyway, she arrived at my door three weeks after clicking “buy” on one of those absolute sex dolls sites that pop up when you’re doom-scrolling late at night. Three weeks is… well, it feels longer when you’re waiting for something this specific.

The Box Was Just a Box (And That’s Good)

I’ll admit, there was this brief moment of panic. What if the neighbors saw? Or worse—what if my roommate intercepted it and decided to open it for me? But no, discreet packaging means discreet. The box was aggressively plain. No logos, nothing even remotely hinting at what was inside except maybe its suspicious size and weight (75 lbs is not light). Lugging her up the stairs felt like moving furniture nobody asked for.

First Glance: She’s Tall

Foxxy Cleopatra stands at 5 feet 4 inches (166 cm), which is exactly my ex-girlfriend’s height. Not sure how to feel about that. Her big boobs are immediately noticeable—33 inches around, apparently—and then those hips, which are wider than most chairs in my apartment can handle (38.2 inches). Long legs too; they kind of dangle off the edge of the bed unless you prop her just right.

Honestly? I thought “Asian silicone sex doll” would mean something more petite or subtle but nope—she’s got proportions that border on cartoonish in certain lighting.

Movable Joints: More Flexible Than Me

One thing that surprised me: steel skeleton with movable joints means she can actually hold poses better than some people I know. Arms go up, knees bend, head tilts side to side in this slightly judgmental way (or maybe I’m projecting). Still—not quite as fluid as advertised but hey, it beats limp noodles.

Also: vaginal and anal sex both possible here. If you’re wondering about depth (and apparently people do), her vagina goes seven inches deep; anus is just over six inches. Not sure who measures these things but okay.

A Momentary Tangent About Shipping

Free international shipping sounds great until you realize “processing time” is code for “waiting while someone assembles your order by hand.” Two weeks building Foxxy Cleopatra from scratch plus another week in transit—three weeks total where your anticipation gets replaced by mild dread and then apathy… until suddenly there she is on your doorstep like some weird Amazon Prime fever dream.

Details That Stick Out For Weird Reasons

Her skin has this cold silicone feel at first but warms up after a while (not emotionally though—that’d be next-level tech). There are seams along her sides if you look closely enough—a reminder she wasn’t born so much as manufactured somewhere far away under fluorescent lights.

The weight distribution is odd too; carry her wrong and she flops over like a mannequin with attitude. And dressing her? Absolute nightmare unless you have patience or enjoy wrestling with deadweight plastic limbs.

Why Do People Buy These Things?

I remember thinking halfway through unboxing: Is anyone really fooled by these dolls? Maybe not fooled exactly—but there’s something comforting in having control over every detail. Big ass? Check. Big breasts? Double check. No-robot voice chirping instructions at you either—which honestly might be an improvement over some dates I’ve had recently.

Maybe it’s less about pretending she’s real and more about having zero expectations thrown back at you for once.

Sometimes You Just Want Something Predictable

Here’s what stuck with me after all this—the predictability of it all. Foxxy Cleopatra isn’t going to ask why I haven’t texted back or judge me for ordering takeout again instead of cooking dinner like an adult should probably do sometimes… hmm, maybe not exactly judgment-free but close enough.

She sits there quietly—a big-boobed silicone monument to modern loneliness or liberation depending on how dramatic you want to get about it all.

Ending On Nothing In Particular

Not sure what else needs saying here except that owning a royal Egyptian sex doll isn’t nearly as wild as people imagine—or maybe it’s weirder because it becomes normal faster than expected? Either way—I keep meaning to put pants on her before guests come over but somehow always forget until they’re knocking on the door already.

Guess life keeps rolling whether Cleopatra approves or not.