Hanna: The Sexy Officer Sex Doll That… Well, Surprised Me

I’m not sure how I ended up here, honestly.

Writing about a sex doll named Hanna (the “Sexy Officer” one, if you’re keeping track), after a week where my brain feels like it’s been left out in the sun too long. But hey—sometimes life’s weird, and sometimes you find yourself explaining silicone sex dolls to a friend who’s too shy to Google. Here we go.

She’s Tall.

Like, Actually Tall.

Hanna clocks in at 5 feet 4 inches (164 cm), which is taller than you’d expect when you first open the box. Not that I was expecting anything; I just remember thinking, “Oh wow, she actually has long legs.” It’s not some miniature version or weirdly scaled-down thing—she looks proportionate standing there (well, propped up). If you’ve ever seen those absolute sex dolls ads promising ‘big boobs’ and ‘juicy butts’—this is what they mean. Her bust? 32.7 inches. Hips? A solid 36.2 inches. Waist is smaller at 24 inches, so yeah: hourglass vibes.

Details You Don’t Think About Until You Do

You know what nobody tells you? These dolls are heavy. Sixty-four pounds doesn’t sound like much until you’re trying to move her from your closet to your bed without making a huge thud or scraping your wall paint off—hypothetically speaking… anyway, she feels real because of it.

And the skin—full silicone throughout—not that sticky plastic feel from cheap knockoffs. There’s something about running your hand along the leg and realizing it doesn’t snag or squeak that makes the whole thing less awkward than expected.

Functionality Isn’t Just Some Boring Spec Sheet

There’s always this moment of doubt with these things: Does it really work? Like—is vaginal and anal sex actually possible or is it just marketing fluff? Turns out both options are there (vagina depth is six inches, anus is five-and-a-half). I didn’t measure with a ruler but those are the numbers on paper and… well let’s just say everything fits as advertised.

The steel skeleton inside means joints bend naturally-ish—you can pose her arms and legs for whatever scenario pops into your head (or doesn’t; no judgment here). Sometimes they click a bit when moved but nothing alarming.

Shipping Is Discreet Enough for Paranoid People

Here’s something people stress over way more than they admit: shipping. Nobody wants their neighbor seeing a giant box labeled SEX DOLL on their porch while hauling groceries inside.

Absolute Sex Dolls ships Hanna in totally plain packaging—no logos, no hints of what’s inside unless someone x-rays it (which would be weird). Processing takes three weeks plus another week for delivery; four weeks total if you’re impatient like me. Still beats awkward store pickups by miles.

Small Realizations That Sneak Up On You

Maybe this sounds strange but after all the jokes and side-eye glances at ads with “big ass” plastered everywhere—I found myself noticing how much care goes into these products now compared to even five years ago. The details aren’t cartoonish; they’re subtle enough that if you squint in dim light she almost looks human sitting across from you (which can be unsettling at midnight).

Even things like hole placement and depth get attention—a weird detail until suddenly it isn’t because comfort matters more than anyone admits out loud.

Tangent: Why Do We Even Care About C-Cups?

Quick detour—I never thought I’d care about bust size descriptors but apparently C-cup silicone combos are rare enough to mention every time someone brings up doll features online. Maybe because most companies either go comically big or barely-there small? Hanna hits that middle ground where breasts are noticeable but not ridiculous—the kind of balance people don’t talk about much outside forums.

Anyway—it stuck with me for some reason.

Not Everything Is Perfect (But What Is?)

She stands out visually but moving her around is still awkward sometimes—the weight distribution isn’t exactly natural so carrying her feels clumsy if you’re tired or distracted (like me right now). And waiting four weeks for delivery made me question my patience levels more than once; Amazon Prime has ruined us all.

Still… owning something built this well makes other mass-produced stuff look lazy by comparison—even if talking about sex dolls still gets eye-rolls from friends who pretend they’ve never looked them up before bedtime.

Weird world we live in, huh?