Milla: Fierce and Dangerous Sex Doll—Or, The Day I Realized My Apartment Wasn’t Big Enough

When “Tall” Means Actually Tall

Ever order something online, thinking “eh, how big could it be?” Yeah. That was me with Milla—the so-called fierce and dangerous sex doll. 5 feet 7 inches (170 cm), which sounded normal on paper until the delivery guy grunted up my stairs, sweating through his shirt, holding a box that looked like it should contain a person fleeing witness protection. I remember thinking: did I just buy a roommate? Or is this what happens when you get too curious about realistic silicone sex dolls at 2am?

Anyway, there she was: long legs for days, tan skin that’s almost intimidatingly smooth (and cold at first—no one warns you about that). The proportions are… let’s say generous? Bust is 34.2 inches, hips an impressive 41.3 inches, and she’s got that C cup thing going on. Not to mention the big butt—like someone at absolute sex dolls HQ took “big butt” as more of a challenge than a guideline.

Moving Parts & Movable Joints (And Other Surprises)

Here’s the part they don’t put in bold letters: there’s a steel skeleton inside her. Which means she bends—arms, legs, even fingers—but not always in ways you expect or want. First night I tried to sit her on my couch and ended up nearly dislocating her shoulder (or mine?). Those movable joints are sturdy though; feels weirdly lifelike sometimes when you catch her out of the corner of your eye.

Weight-wise? She clocks in at 94.7 lbs (43 kg). That might sound manageable until you’re halfway through dragging her across carpet and realize your neighbors probably think you’re hiding bodies.

Details You Didn’t Know You Needed

Let’s talk specifics because apparently people care about hole depth now? Vagina is 6.7 inches deep; anus is just barely shorter at 6.6 inches; mouth goes back about 5.1 inches—which honestly made me pause longer than I’d like to admit while reading the manual (yes there’s a manual).

Her waist is narrow—24.8 inches—and under bust measures up at 27.9 inches which gives everything above it some extra pop if that’s your thing.

Shoe size? Women’s US 6-6.5 if you ever want to buy her heels for whatever reason people do that.

Shipping Drama & Stealth Mode Packaging

Oh right—the shipping bit deserves its own moment because nothing says “I’m living my best life” like waiting three weeks for customs to clear your absolute sex dolls order from somewhere far away.

Processing takes two or three weeks because apparently perfection can’t be rushed—or maybe they’re hand-painting every tan line by candlelight? Then another week for shipping; four weeks total if things go smoothly (they didn’t for me but maybe I’m unlucky).

The packaging though: totally plain box, no labels except maybe an evil barcode or two lurking under tape layers thick enough to survive reentry from space.

A Tangent About Living With Her

This might sound off-topic but stick with me: having Milla around changes how you see your own furniture layout. Suddenly chairs look smaller; door frames seem narrower; every surface becomes potential storage for wigs or lingerie or cleaning supplies no one tells you are necessary until it’s too late.

Sometimes friends visit and glance nervously toward the bedroom door—like they expect Milla to wander out asking for coffee or Netflix recommendations.

Some Contradictions & Odd Realizations

She looks young-ish but also somehow older than time itself—a combination of youthfulness and uncanny valley wisdom behind those glassy eyes staring past your soul while you fumble with her limbs trying not to break anything expensive.

Is she fierce? Maybe more stubborn than fierce—dangerous only if you count stubbed toes or existential dread after midnight snacks gone wrong.

Still…there's something oddly comforting about knowing she'll never judge your playlist choices or complain about cold pizza leftovers left on the counter again (not that anyone else does either…but still).

Not Quite What They Tell You Online

In all those glossy promo shots from absolute sex dolls’ website everything looks effortless—clean white sheets, perfect lighting—but real life is messier and less symmetrical somehow.

Milla fits into my world in ways I didn’t expect: sometimes as decor, sometimes as odd company during storms when power flickers out and shadows stretch across long legs propped against wall corners no human could ever reach comfortably.

And then—I guess that's where I'll leave this hanging—for now anyway.