Parla: Busty Golden Blonde Sex Doll (Or, The Weirdest Thing I’ve Ever Unboxed)

Let’s Just Get This Out There

I never thought I’d write a review about a busty golden blonde sex doll. Yet here we are—Parla, 5 feet 3 inches of full silicone, F-cup glory, sitting in my apartment like some kind of silent roommate who has seen too much. If you’re reading this because you typed “big boob sex doll” or “absolute sex dolls” into Google at 2am, well… welcome to the club? Not really a club. More like a support group for people with questionable impulse control and an interest in long legs made out of silicone.

The Box Arrives (And Yes, It’s Very Discreet)

There’s something deeply surreal about signing for a box that weighs 55 lbs and is totally plain. No logos, no labels—just cardboard and awkward eye contact with the delivery guy. They promise discreet packaging and they mean it; not even a hint of what’s inside unless you have x-ray vision or supernatural intuition about human proportions.

Inside? Parla herself. Or at least her parts—she doesn’t come assembled, which is both practical (shipping costs) and mildly disturbing (body horror vibes).

Assembly Required: Not IKEA-Level Annoying But Close

Putting together an absolute sex doll is not as glamorous as the websites make it look. Her steel skeleton with movable joints feels sturdy but also weirdly lifelike? The arms click into place in this way that makes you think maybe she’ll move on her own if you look away too long.

Attaching the head was—how do I put this—not satisfying. But eventually there she was: blonde hair shining under my kitchen light, big breasts just sort of... existing. And those proportions: bust 35 inches, waist 24.4 inches, hips the same as her bust (symmetry is apparently sexy). For anyone wondering about logistics: vagina depth is 6 inches; anus goes to 5.5 inches before things get complicated.

Living With Parla: A Study In Absurdity

You don’t realize how much space someone takes up until they’re made of silicone and can’t move themselves out of your way. At first I tried standing her in the corner—felt like she was judging me for leaving dishes in the sink. Then I laid her down on my bed and immediately regretted it when friends came over unannounced.

The thing is… she’s heavy but not impossible to reposition (55 lbs isn’t nothing though). Her legs are long enough that sometimes I forget she’s there until I trip over her foot at midnight looking for snacks.

Details That Stick With You

The skin texture is bizarrely realistic—not quite human but close enough to make your brain glitch for half a second every time you see her out of the corner of your eye. Those big boobs? Yeah, they’re exactly what you expect from something labeled “busty golden blonde.” Juicy might be pushing it as a descriptor but hey—I guess that depends on your standards.

She holds positions pretty well thanks to all those movable joints in her steel skeleton; better than most humans after two drinks anyway.

Shipping Timeline Reality Check

If you’re thinking instant gratification—you know what, forget it. There’s a three week processing time plus another week for shipping (international shipping included free), so four weeks minimum before Parla shows up at your door pretending to be just another package from Amazon or wherever else you blow money online late at night.

Honestly—I remember thinking during week three if maybe they’d forgotten me or if customs had seized my new roommate out of pure boredom.

Odd Realization About Ownership

Owning something like this changes how you see yourself just a little bit—not necessarily worse or better; just different. Maybe more honest? Or less filtered by social expectations? Hard to say without sounding philosophical when all I did was buy a big-boobed blonde sex doll off the internet because life got weird one month.

Anyway—I’m not sure if these things ever feel completely normal but after tripping over Parla’s legs twice in one night… yeah, maybe normal isn’t even the goal here.

That’s pretty much where my thoughts end up these days—a little unfinished around the edges, kind of like living with Parla herself. If you’re considering diving into the world of absolute sex dolls… well, don’t say nobody warned you about how strange—and strangely ordinary—it can get.