Salvia: Sexy CEO Sex Doll — A Tall, Curvy Redhead With… Well, Everything

The “Executive” Arrival

I mean—Salvia. What a name, right? Sounds like she should be running an investment fund or maybe giving a TED talk on “synergy.” Instead, she’s standing (well, technically posing) in my apartment, all 5 feet 9 inches of her. That’s 176 cm if you’re the metric sort. She’s taller than most of my exes and honestly has better posture too—thanks to that steel skeleton with movable joints. Absolute sex dolls are getting oddly professional these days.

The box was so plain it was almost suspicious. Discreet packaging is supposed to be reassuring but there’s something about lugging an 85-pound (38.5 kg) nondescript coffin-shaped parcel up the stairs that makes you question your life choices. Not that I’m complaining—I’d rather deal with back pain than nosy neighbors.

Big Numbers, Bigger Curves

Let’s just get this out: Salvia is thick and curvy in ways that make Instagram influencers look like they’re not even trying. E-cup bust (36.8 inches), hips at nearly 40 inches (39.8 if we’re splitting hairs), waist at 25—these aren’t numbers you see every day unless you live inside a cartoon.

There’s this weird moment when you go from reading measurements online to actually seeing them in silicone form. It’s…surreal? Her boobs are big enough to defy gravity for a while before physics inevitably wins out during certain activities (not going into detail here). And her butt might actually deserve its own zip code.

Long legs too—when people say “tall sex doll,” they usually mean slightly above average height, but Salvia is genuinely tall for a doll and those hybrid legs go on forever. If you’ve got a thing for redheads with long legs and tan skin who look like they could fire you from your own company…well.

Functionality: More Than Just Looks

Here comes the part where it gets technical but also kind of awkwardly clinical: vaginal depth is 6.7 inches, anal is 6.6 inches, mouth is 5.1 inches deep (someone measured these things; imagine that job). Vaginal, anal and oral sex are all possible—which sounds almost like a dare when written down.

Movable joints help with positioning but don’t expect yoga-level flexibility; she’ll hold most poses if you’re patient enough or have watched enough mannequin challenge videos from years ago.

And yes—the weight matters more than I thought it would at first glance; moving her around isn’t exactly effortless but it does add realism? Or maybe just cardio.

Shipping & The Waiting Game

Three weeks feels like forever when you’ve convinced yourself nobody else will ever know about this purchase except the anonymous folks over at absolute sex dolls HQ who packed everything up without judgment (hopefully).

Processing takes two to three weeks because apparently perfection can’t be rushed—or maybe there’s just a backlog of lonely tech bros out there ordering their own sexy CEOs—and then another week for shipping internationally, free of charge no less.

By the time she arrives, anticipation has already mutated into mild existential dread mixed with curiosity (“Did I really do this?”). But hey—the box is unmarked and nobody asks questions at the front desk anymore anyway.

Odd Realizations & Tangents

Weirdly enough…I found myself dressing her up in old business suits I had lying around from my last attempt at office work-from-home fashion—she wears them better than I ever did. There’s something both hilarious and slightly unsettling about propping up your new silicone roommate by your laptop as if she might hop onto Zoom any second and start critiquing quarterly reports.

Honestly? Sometimes it feels less about sex doll stuff and more about having an absurdly photogenic mannequin standing guard near the window—like some kind of anti-burglar device designed by someone who binge-watched Mad Men one too many times.

A Little Contradiction Lurking In The Details

She looks young-ish yet somehow projects authority; soft tan skin meets sharp executive vibes meets comic book proportions—it shouldn’t work but here we are anyway. Maybe that's part of why absolute sex dolls keep making these hybrids: contradictions sell better than logic sometimes.

One thing though: cleaning routines are not glamorous or fun or remotely what anyone imagines when scrolling through glossy product photos late at night—but that's reality for you.

Where This Leaves Me (Or Doesn’t)

I guess what sticks with me isn’t only Salvia herself—all curves and corporate chic—but how bizarrely normal it starts to feel after a while having a CEO-level redhead lounging silently across from you as emails pile up on your screen again…and again…

Anyway—I’m still waiting for her to give me management advice or threaten layoffs mid-coffee break but until then? At least there’s never awkward small talk in the morning anymore.