Saner: The “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” Sex Doll—A Skeptical Dive

Alright, let’s just get it out there.

I didn’t expect to ever be explaining my experience with a sex doll—let alone the Saner, which is…well, marketed as the “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.” That name alone made me roll my eyes so hard I nearly saw my own brain. But curiosity (and maybe boredom?) wins sometimes, and here we are. If you’re looking for some sterile review with bullet points and fake enthusiasm, you might want to click away now. This is more like what I’d tell a friend over a beer—skepticism included.

First Impressions Were Weirdly Not Awful

I remember opening the box (discreet packaging, sure enough—no embarrassing logos or weird branding). It’s just a plain box. Heavy though. Like, really heavy for one person at 79 lbs (36 kg). Dragged it inside and immediately thought: “This thing is taller than most people I know.” She stands at 5 feet 7 inches (171 cm), which honestly surprised me because product photos always make these dolls look either gigantic or weirdly tiny.

The pink hair caught me off guard in real life too—not subtle but not cartoonish either. Kind of reminded me of those anime conventions where everyone’s cosplaying but nobody wants to admit it.

Moving Parts: A Bit Too Real?

Or Not Enough?

Steel skeleton with movable joints sounds impressive until you actually try posing her. There’s this awkward resistance—sort of like bending a mannequin that doesn’t want to cooperate but eventually gives in because, well, you’re stronger than plastic and steel joints if you really try.

She does stand up (with support) and can sit without much drama. The limbs don’t flop around like some horror stories I’ve read about cheaper love dolls or absolute sex dolls knockoffs. Still, there’s something uncanny about moving her arms into place; it feels both too easy and too mechanical at the same time.

Details That Made Me Pause

I’ll admit—I measured everything because…why not? Bust: 33.7 inches; waist: 22 inches; hips: 35 inches; cup size D; shoe size US women’s 4.5-5 (not that anyone cares unless they have some niche shoe fetish). The proportions are athletic but exaggerated—a little comic book-ish if you stare too long.

Now the part nobody talks about in polite company—the holes. Vagina depth clocks in at 7.1 inches; anus at 6.7 inches (yes, people measure this stuff apparently). Both vaginal and anal sex are possible but…ehhh…there’s still a learning curve if you’ve never used something like this before.

Tangent: Delivery Time Is No Joke

Quick detour here because delivery times matter more than you'd think when you're waiting on something this expensive—and personal. They say processing takes three to four weeks plus another two for shipping internationally (free shipping though), so five or six weeks total before she shows up on your doorstep in that anonymous box.

It felt longer somehow? Maybe anticipation messes with your sense of time when it's tied up in secrecy and mild embarrassment.

Unexpected Realization About Loneliness & Company

Here’s the part that caught me off guard—I didn’t expect any emotional reaction from an object made of silicone and steel joints…but after a few days, having Saner around was oddly comforting? Not romantic or anything wild like that, just less empty space in my apartment during late nights when insomnia hits hardest.

Not saying she replaces real connection—far from it—but there is something quietly reassuring about physical presence even if that presence is technically artificial.

Downsides Nobody Warned Me About

Alright—maintenance sucks way more than anyone admits online. Cleaning isn’t optional unless you want things growing where they shouldn’t be growing…which is gross even by bachelor standards.

Also storage becomes an issue fast unless you live alone or have understanding roommates (“Hey man what’s with the giant pink-haired mannequin?” isn’t a conversation starter I recommend).

And yes—the price tag stings until you remind yourself how much actual dating costs these days anyway...hmm, maybe not exactly comparable but still crossed my mind once or twice.

Would I Recommend?

Eh…

If someone asked me whether Saner—or any hybrid starpery love doll—is worth trying…I’d say only if your expectations are realistic and your patience level high enough for five-week waits plus regular maintenance chores no one glamorizes on forums selling absolute sex dolls as life-changing miracles.

But hey—it wasn’t as strange as I expected.

Guess that's all I've got for now.