Francesca: The French Maid Sex Doll That’s… Well, Something Else

What Caught My Eye (Besides the Obvious)

You know how sometimes you’re scrolling and you see something that makes you pause—not because it’s shocking, but because it’s so on-the-nose it almost loops back around to subtle? That was me with Francesca, the French Maid sex doll from Absolute Sex Dolls. I mean, she’s got the whole checklist: H-cup (yep), 5 feet 7 inches tall (that’s 171 cm for metric fans), TPE skin that actually feels—well, not exactly human but close enough if you squint in the right lighting.

Honestly, I remember thinking: “Do people really want a maid outfit with their sex doll?” But apparently yes. Apparently very yes.

Details You Don’t See in Ads

Here’s where things get weirdly technical. Francesca weighs about 78 pounds (35.5 kg). Not feather-light, but you won’t throw your back out unless you try to dance with her or something. Her measurements are strangely precise—bust at 32 inches, waist at an almost cartoonish 17 inches, hips at 33 inches. It gives her this athletic kind of look that doesn’t scream ‘classic pin-up’ so much as ‘Instagram fitness model who moonlights as a cosplayer.’

Oh—and then there are the hole depths. Vagina and anus both clock in at 6.7 inches deep; mouth is a little less at 5.1 inches (I guess realism has its limits). This is one of those facts that sounds mechanical until you realize people have preferences about these things.

Movable Joints: More Than Just a Gimmick?

The steel skeleton is honestly impressive—her joints move like an action figure made for grown-ups who don’t admit they still buy action figures. You can pose her however you want; I tried sitting Francesca on my couch and she held up better than most IKEA furniture after a year of use.

But don’t expect miracles. Sometimes the limbs click or resist in ways that remind you this isn’t some Westworld scenario—it’s silicone and metal doing its best impression.

Shipping Surprises

Let me just say—the packaging is… bland to the point of suspicion? Completely plain box, no branding anywhere; if someone saw it on your doorstep they’d probably think it was either a new TV or some sort of obscure gym equipment (which is maybe accurate). Free international shipping too—though there’s a catch: two weeks processing plus another week for shipping means three weeks before anything arrives.

That wait feels longer than it should when anticipation builds up every time your phone buzzes with a delivery update.

Little Contradictions

It struck me how Francesca manages to be both hyper-realistic and obviously artificial all at once. Her skin texture is soft-ish thanks to TPE material—athletic looking but still kind of rubbery if you press too hard in certain places (I did). And while she looks like she could run marathons or clean your apartment top-to-bottom… well, let’s just say neither of those things will happen without significant user input.

She checks all the boxes for what people seem to want from absolute sex dolls: height, curves, flexibility—but somehow also feels like more of a conversation starter than an actual companion.

A Tangent About Expectations

Weirdly enough—I caught myself wondering what my neighbors would think if they knew what was inside that big anonymous box sitting outside my door for half a day last month. There’s something oddly liberating about owning something so over-the-top obvious yet hidden behind layers of discretion and cardboard silence.

And yeah—I’m cautiously optimistic about where this industry goes next. Maybe someday we’ll get self-cleaning maids who actually do laundry instead of just posing as one.

Would I Recommend It?

Hmm… depends on what you’re after. If you're curious about athletic TPE dolls with detailed features and don’t mind waiting three weeks for discreet international shipping—that's pretty much Francesca in a nutshell. She looks great standing by my bookshelf under questionable lighting; not sure I'll ever see her as anything more than an elaborate prop with surprisingly good posture.

Anyway—if nothing else, she's proof absolute sex dolls are getting weirder and more lifelike every year… even if they're still just pretending to dust off your shelves while nobody's watching.