Prissy: The “Teen Princess” Sex Doll That’s… Well, She Exists

Not Sure What I Expected, Honestly

Every now and then you stumble across something that makes you pause in the middle of a doomscroll. For me, recently, it was this—Prissy: Teen Princess Sex Doll. There she was, all 5 feet 5 inches (167 cm) of silicone ambition and E-cup bravado. Full disclosure: I’m not exactly the target demo for absolute sex dolls or any love doll really, but curiosity is a weird beast.

You know those moments where your brain just kind of checks out? That’s what happened when I started reading about Prissy’s “key features.” E-cup breasts. Blonde hair. Big boobs and long legs. A steel skeleton with movable joints—like some sort of athletic hybrid between Barbie and an IKEA shelf unit. And apparently bunny ears are involved? Or maybe that was my imagination running off again.

Details You Can’t Unsee

Here’s where things get weirdly specific (and slightly clinical). Prissy weighs in at 76 lbs (34.5 kg), which is probably heavier than most people expect unless they’ve carried a bag of concrete up three flights of stairs. Her measurements read like a tailor’s fever dream: bust 33 inches, waist 23 inches, hips 35 inches—a D cup if you’re keeping track at home.

But wait—there’s more! The product page goes into detail about hole depth (I can’t believe I typed that): vagina is 7.1 inches deep; anus clocks in at 6.7 inches. It feels like someone should be taking notes for science class or something.

Shipping? Free international shipping with “discreet packaging”—which basically means your neighbors won’t know you ordered a full silicone sex doll unless they see you struggling to haul a mysterious box inside after five weeks of anxious anticipation.

Is This Real Life?

There’s this odd contrast between how these absolute sex dolls are marketed and what actually lands on your doorstep after six weeks of waiting and second-guessing every life choice that led to this moment. The site promises athletic build, big boobs, blonde bombshell vibes—all wrapped up in plain cardboard anonymity.

Honestly? It all starts to blur together after awhile—the endless parade of “starpery,” bunny hybrids, perfect proportions no human could ever achieve without Photoshop or a Marvel movie contract.

Why Do People Even Want This?

I remember thinking—maybe there’s some comfort here for folks who want companionship without conversation or commitment or the awkwardness of first dates gone wrong. Maybe it’s just novelty; maybe it’s loneliness; maybe it’s boredom so deep you start googling things like “full silicone sex doll with e-cup breasts.”

Or maybe—and this is just me spitballing—it has something to do with control over fantasy versus reality? Who knows anymore.

Tangent Time: Shipping Limbo

Quick detour because this part made me laugh (in that tired way where everything is funny if you haven’t slept enough): the processing time alone for Prissy is three to four weeks before she even ships out… then another two weeks floating somewhere between customs offices and existential dread before she arrives at your door.

That means by the time Prissy shows up, there’s a decent chance you’ll have forgotten ordering her entirely—or convinced yourself it was all just an oddly vivid dream about big boobs and discreet packaging.

Things Nobody Mentions

Nobody tells you how much space these love dolls take up in real life—not on the website anyway—or how moving them around feels less sexy than gym day with an uncooperative mannequin. They don’t mention shoe size either except as an aside (US Women’s 4.5-5)—which seems almost quaint compared to everything else going on here.

And don’t get me started on storage solutions unless your idea of interior design involves closets big enough to hide secret Olympic athletes made out of silicone.

Where Does That Leave Us?

I guess what I’m saying is—Prissy exists; she has stats straight out of someone else’s wish list; she ships internationally if you’ve got patience for logistics purgatory; she might be exactly what someone needs or wants or thinks they need until reality sets in (or doesn’t).

Anyway—I’m still not sure why anyone would want a teen princess sex doll specifically but hey…life keeps getting weirder every year and who am I to judge somebody else’s version of comfort?

Maybe next time I’ll write about something less surreal—but no promises.