Sophiemina: College Girlfriend Sex Doll—A Weirdly Honest Take

When Curiosity Wins (Again)

You ever find yourself, late at night, scrolling through absolute sex dolls listings with a kind of detached amusement? Maybe not. I do. There’s something about the way these sites describe a “college girlfriend” sex doll that’s both hilarious and oddly clinical. Sophiemina caught my eye mostly because of how... specific everything is. Like, her exact bust size down to the decimal. 28.3 inches. Not 28 or 29—nope, gotta get that .3 in there.

Details That Stick (Or Don’t)

Anyway, she’s an A-cup silicone sex doll standing at 5 feet 3 inches tall (159 cm). That’s taller than you’d expect if your only reference point is those weird miniature ones on some sketchy corners of the internet. Her weight clocks in at 66 lbs (30kg), which is less than most college backpacks but more than you want to admit when you’re dragging her up two flights of stairs because your elevator’s out again.

Measurements? Sure, why not:

• Bust: 28.3 inches
• Under bust: 23.6 inches
• Waist: 21.2 inches
• Hips: 36.2 inches

All this precision makes me wonder if anyone has ever measured themselves this obsessively outside of maybe a tailor or… well, a doll manufacturer.

The Anatomy Lesson Nobody Asked For

Let’s just say it: people want to know about the holes. It feels weird typing it out but here we are—vagina depth is apparently exactly 7.1 inches and anal goes to 6.3 inches deep (which seems like overkill unless you’re auditioning for some sort of Guinness record). Oral upgrade available too, though I didn’t spring for it because honestly… I got distracted by the idea of her steel skeleton with movable joints instead.

If you’ve never tried posing a silicone doll before—I have now—you’ll realize it’s equal parts fascinating and slightly unnerving how fluid yet stiff those joints can be.

Shipping Is Its Own Adventure

There was this moment where I wondered what my neighbors would think if they saw a giant box labeled “absolute sex dolls” on my doorstep—but no worries apparently; their discreet packaging means nobody will know unless they’re psychic or just really nosy about plain cardboard boxes.

The processing time? Two weeks plus another week for shipping (so three weeks total). It takes longer than ordering pizza but less time than waiting for student loan forgiveness, so… call that even?

Outfit Envy & False Advertising

One thing bugged me—the outfit in the photos isn’t included, which is sort of like buying an action figure as a kid and realizing all the cool accessories are “sold separately.” You end up with Sophiemina looking ready for finals week in nothing but bubble wrap and existential dread.

I remember thinking about how strange it is that her look screams “teen,” which feels awkward to even type out loud—like who exactly asked for that vibe? But then again, someone must have or else she wouldn’t exist at all.

Living With Sophiemina (Sort Of)

She sits quietly in my apartment now—a silent roommate who doesn’t eat snacks or complain about dishes piling up in the sink. Sometimes I catch myself glancing over while working from home and thinking: wow, life really does take odd turns sometimes.

Her presence is equal parts surreal art piece and private joke only I’m in on—which might be sad or funny depending on your mood that day.

The Unspoken Stuff

Here’s something nobody mentions much: cleaning her takes longer than you’d expect and there’s always this faint feeling like you’re prepping lab equipment rather than anything remotely sexy. Also—carrying her around isn’t nearly as effortless as those product shots suggest unless you moonlight as a powerlifter.

But hey, free international shipping! Small victories count too.

Drifting Off Topic For A Second

Somewhere between assembling her limbs and reading through care instructions written by someone whose first language definitely wasn’t English (“do not put hot water into vagina hole”), I started wondering what future archaeologists will make of us if they dig one up centuries from now…

Well—that thought fizzled out fast when Netflix auto-played another episode behind me and she kept staring straight ahead like nothing happened at all.

And yeah—I guess that sums things up better than any neat ending could manage right now