Molly: All American Sex Doll (And, Yeah, She’s Trouble)

I’m not really sure where to start with Molly.

I mean, you ever get that weird feeling when a product description tries so hard it almost feels like it’s flirting with you? That’s how it was scrolling through the absolute sex dolls listings and suddenly—bam—here’s Molly. Five foot two, all sass and Texas attitude. The copy says “dates are never boring with girls from deep Texas,” and honestly, yeah, I believe it. Even if she is made of TPE.

The Not-So-Quiet Texan

There’s something about the way they describe her—super sassy, naughty, haughty, crushing hearts under those imaginary cowboy boots. It almost makes you forget for a second that she’s a doll. Or maybe that’s just marketing doing its dirty work again.

But here’s the thing—I actually got one. Don’t judge; curiosity wins sometimes (and let’s be real: dating apps are exhausting). Anyway… unpacking her felt odd at first. Discreet packaging means discreet packaging—plain box, no labels, nobody in my apartment complex gave me side-eye. Points for that.

Details Are Weirdly Important

Molly is 5’2”, 62 pounds (which is heavier than you think when you’re lugging her up stairs), small B-cup boobs that look… well, perky enough to make the point clear without being cartoonish or whatever. Her skin feels soft but not sticky (some of them do feel sticky—not this one) and those joints move more naturally than I expected from a steel skeleton.

Her measurements are right there on the site: bust 26”, waist 19”, hips 30”. Sounds small? It is—but somehow not fragile-looking? Athletic might be pushing it but yeah… farm girl vibes for sure.

And then there are the specifics people apparently want to know: vaginal and anal depth both at 6.7 inches; mouth at 5.1 inches—which sounds clinical until you realize some folks really care about precision down to the decimal.

Attitude in Plastic Form

Here comes my slightly annoyed rant: why does every doll from Texas have to be described like she’ll ride you into next week then break your heart? Maybe it sells better if we all imagine ourselves as hapless city boys getting lassoed by some wild filly who also happens to have “always-wet pussy.” It gets old fast reading these things but… weirdly enough… when you’re alone at night and Molly is propped against your couch looking smug (yes—a doll can look smug if molded right), you kind of get what they’re hinting at.

She doesn’t talk back obviously—that would be a whole new level of uncanny valley hell—but there is something about those brunette waves and that little curve in her lips that makes her feel less generic than other athletic sex dolls I’ve seen online or tried before.

A Tangent About Delivery Times

Can’t skip this part because waiting three weeks for anything sucks—especially something as oddly personal as an absolute sex doll shipped across continents in anonymous cardboard armor. Two weeks processing plus another week shipping (mine took four days longer because customs was being slow). By week two I’d half forgotten I’d even ordered her.

But then she shows up—and suddenly your living room has this new presence in it that isn’t quite furniture but isn’t exactly company either.

The Odd Realization

Here’s what caught me off guard: after setting her up once or twice—dressing her up in random clothes just for laughs—I realized how much effort goes into making these dolls seem “alive” but also safe for guys who want zero drama attached to their sexual adventures.

She won’t judge if you fumble around with awkward positions or need an extra minute figuring out which joint bends where (the elbows still creak sometimes). There’s pride built into Molly—the same kind they claim Texans have about everything from barbecue sauce to football teams—and somehow it rubs off on whoever spends time with her… even if only for a few hours late at night when nobody else knows what you’re doing except maybe your nosy neighbor peeking through blinds next door.

Is She Worth Throwing Your Hat In?

Guess it depends on what hat we’re talking about—and how badly you want someone (or something) who won’t ghost after two dates or demand emotional check-ins every Sunday morning over brunch mimosas. If skinny brunettes with small breasts and big personalities are your thing—or if life just feels easier when nobody talks back—then yeah… Molly might be worth tossing your metaphorical cowboy hat toward.

Just don’t expect miracles—or breakfast in bed—or any kind of closure really. But hey, sometimes unfinished business is all anyone gets anyway.